It has been a long while since my last post…honestly, because I have not been in Iraq in a long time. Or anywhere near that shitty place.

So where am I? I am in a extradition country that gets around that part of the law with only 20 or 30 dollars. I have not been to the US or the UK since 2004 I think..possible early 05′.

I have completed a number of diving courses but stopped just because I was bored with it. The same diveshop doing the same dives every day and the attitude has changed for the worse there, crappy atmosphere now. It used to be so cool that people would just wander in, chat about some diving for the next day, and hang out for some drinks. Now its dead. D E A D. Plus they have gotten weird and started calling me a non-paying customer even though my payment is only 5 pesos less than the rest. (about 12 cents) so they wont take me on dives unless recent hotel customers want to go……..yea, bad juju all around.

I have gotten tired of living in this 3rd world country. They have a national inferiority complex and actually believe they are intellectual equals to the rest of the planet….they are NOT. They are a bunch of tree climbing monkeys that figured out how to use cell phones. I have lost all the respect that I had for them. If they open their mouth, they prove me correct. So I have been looking at getting back into the sand box. I dont even need the money…I just have started hating the fuck out of this place; a lot. Even the lawyers here cant read a legal contract….talk about a fucktard society. College degree at age 16? Nurses that dont know what medicines do what?

It’s that perfect time to bow out of that perfect rat-race.

The company has reached the stage where there’s no issue about completing the mission.  No worries, no troubles.  Money keeps coming in.  Which mean everyone has to start justifying their jobs….including internal Corporate Security.  Whereas they used to go after people committing bribes, contract kickbacks, and downright theft…..now they have no one left to hunt.  So they go sweeping thru the country shitcanning people on petty things.

Things so petty and mostly without any evidence and sometimes on pure speculation that the employees will be offered their job back.  Most people are just taking a cash settlement and signing a gag agreement.  And will never be heard of again—however we are pushing it and fully intend on getting cash, jobs, and be damned with a gag order.

But my point is this - it’s not fun anymore.  People are too complacent and the job is so ‘everyday normal’ now that everyone is getting in other peoples business.  Whats worse is that it’s soo easy that even other companies and even State Department Regional Security Officers are getting into other peoples lanes and interfering with contracts because, well, I guess because they don’t have any real work to do.

It’s a good time to leave.  The place is going to shit….everything is much worse now than back in 2004.  The muslims have proved over and over again that all they know is murder.  When we placated them and gave them what they wanted—ya know, so they wouldn’t have to actually work or anything - - what did they do?  What do they do every day?  They slaughter their religious neighbors.  Then they slaughter each other over petty shit.

I received reports - unclassified but sensitive - that I wish like a MF’er that I could post.  Proof every day about incidents and investigations that happen every single day and never make any news outlet anywhere.  Not even that bullshit site Urkut.net or whatever it is.  These people have a tribal mentality and they murder like immature little bitches.  They are not fit to be considered equals to the rest of humanity.  Someone, please sterilize the middle east.

When I recently returned to Iraq, it was with calmer eyes and a much better temperament.  Perhaps I simply don’t have the stamina to play office politics.  But now, I’m taking a very much needed rest for a very long time.  I have no plans of working anytime for the rest of this year.  Or perhaps next year either…who knows, time will tell.  Depending on how bored I get.

Until next time!!!!

 Lets see how this works…..

Company is worried that something is going wrong and employees are breaking the policies……they ask one member of the client that isnt authorized to speak on behalf of the client managment….this person hates us because he thinks we should provide everything for free to DynCorp…….he has a hard-on for the local hires because he recently converted to Islam and married an Iraqi (a conflict of interest I would have thought, given his position and security clearance) and had a DynCorp person coach them to make false statements about us…

Now I’m sitting in the IZ.  Supposedly under lockdown although I’ve proven thats a a concept our security hasent gotten to yet.  On day 3 of sitting on my ass so far.  Ironic that they’re going to railroad a bunch of us for ‘policy violations’ .  We will take it to Coporate levels, we will win.  Obviously.  The shit we were accused of is so false that there is a person who I will personally mention to SIGIR for prosecuttion; of interfearing with a government contract.

And I’m sitting on 3 years of emails.  hahaha….I was never one to burn bridges…but hell, those non-disclosure statements don’t mean a thing when I’m not a US resident nor in the country.  Let’s see…..how many websites do I have?  I have years of glowing reviews and documented praises from the clients..screw these witch hunters.

Heres some light reading:  Why Thailand - funny guide

Googles AdSense doesnt like me…..

 Thank you for your interest in Google AdSense. Unfortunately, after reviewing your application, we’re unable to accept you into Google AdSense at this time.We did not approve your application for the reasons listed below.

 Fuck em’

This is for the punk-ass at my work that’s reading thru all 2 years of entries to see if I ever talked smack about him.  Here’s to you DM, now your famous.  I hereby talketh smaketh about you!

Actually, he’s a pretty decent human.  This is him:

I don’t know…something is going on around this fucker.  Supposedly it’s getting hotter in the region but I don’t seem to ever hear it.  Someone had to be seriously doped up with morphine when he dislocated an elbow–took a lot of juice to get him to stop screaming.

And I never even heard it.  Outside my window.

The Clients are starting to be little bitches again.  But I don’t care this time.  Bitches…well, not really accurate but goddamn at the things they do.  Every company out here has it’s role to play and we all have to interact with each other on some level.  Unfortunately, my group directly supports everyone else out here just because the Prime said its cool and we still get paid.  Why unfortunate?  because these other groups don’t give a rats ass about all the perks that we do for them…all they know is they think we should bend over and start shitting golden eggs and if we don’t then we’re some kind of slacker scum.

Aside from them not having a clue about the term ‘contractual obligation’…I’m not stressing over it like I did before.  I smile at it sometimes because I know it will get bad enough to where we cut them all off down to the bare requirements per contract….then life will start sucking for them.

——————-Events I left out or otherwise aren’t really sure about the dates———-
thought I could edit them into the main post later..oops

Browneye Sneak-Attack (night 11 event):
I got a pooper once by accident…it was funny. The date I had brought ended up next to me getting chowed on…this other skinny chick was fucked up trying to ride me while some chick was on my balls….she lifted up and I crammed the browneye by accident….other girl was laughing so hard. The funny thing is the girl was so fucked up she just did this weird “ouch wrong one! wrong one!” but wasn’t really too fast to move.

Deserters (unknown date):
The two girls in picture #4 above. Now don’t get me wrong, they were both overflowing with energy and the one on the right was from the Village. She picked the other one from Sunset Club a little later. They are really into each other which is way cool for me, however, they have the ‘break it and leave’ agenda going on. I admit to having a touch of the whisky dick that night but the Cialis was slowly overcoming it. Well, with these to hotties double teaming me for about an hour and a half, it wasn’t fast enough for them. They both got up and said they were leaving, “Maybe some other time”.

I was like ‘wha?!…’ Then the taller one had the nerve to ask for a bunch of money. I dropped 2000 on the bed…still floored at what was going on, considering their combined barfines were 3500 and they had about another 2000 in drinks. As they were walking out the door, one says to me “how about a kiss?” and I shot off something smartassed like ‘if you’re going to just leave, then keep on going out the door’.

Next night I went back to the Village Club and mamasan asked how Leia was..I told her the story and she gets all apologetic and starts rounding up girls saying how she promises they will stay all night. Then Leia kept trying to approach…..I know she’s a hottie, but hell, I’m on vacation and spending money! Not courting the mayors daughter.

Broadway Disco (multi-night):
One night there was an issue with the flaming Sambuca. Apparently these crappy shot glasses aren’t rated for fire prevention standards. You cant really see it but the pale blue flame is almost all the way across this picture.

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Another night was a lot of girl on girl action and body shots. Whoa! I didn’t even know I had this second pic until just now. That just goes to prove how much of a good time I had….right in my lap and I don’t even remember this one.

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The Korean (or whatever):
This guy was definitely having a good time. At one point, he had a table full of company and then they disappeared. I don’t know if he actually talked to anyone but this man was feeling no pain at all!\

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Amenities:

Mermaids Resort: Nicest place in Sabang. Newest too. Has a small pool with a bar and restaurant outside. Great staff but make sure to tell them that no-one is allowed in your room. One night this girl got shitty drunk and had to be ditched. She went to the resort and gained access to Dad-dy’s room just for asking the front desk. Top floor is 2 penthouse rooms with tubs inside and Jacuzzis out side. About 90 USD/night. NOT ON THE BEACH…but within a 3 minute walk. Ass kickin AC units in here w/remote controls.

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Mermaid Divers: on the beach. Spartan. Maybe 80 square foot rooms. Only 9 rooms in the place. 24 hr bar downstairs and all the staff are cool as hell. The dive instructor is Rickie and is known to buy you a beer after a dive. The Upstairs is an interesting split balcony the looks onto the bar/shop below and also wraps around to the main floor of Cap’n Greggs restaurant. Place has a small window unit to cool the place if you remember to shut the bathroom door.

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Beach: Not a hotel, but the beach itself. I don’t recommend walking barefooted here. Not picturesque and even the occasional bottle in the waterline. Sand has glass in some spots. Below the waterline is rocky. Tide changes stir up this nasty algae growth from who-knows-where.

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Cap’n Gregs: Good food, good price, and excellent portions. Plenty of rotation fans. Sorry, no pics.

Sabang Pharmacy: I honestly don’t think these people have ever heard of ‘prescriptions’ before. If you need it, they’ll sell it. Individually. If you ask for aspirin or band-aids…they’ll sell it to you one piece at a time. Try to avoid anything complicated like pointing to the only thing hanging up on the wall because they still won’t have a clue what you want…as C found out. You can’t miss this place since it’s sign is a red and yellow capsule smiling at you with arms and legs. I didn’t have the nerve to ask them for some of THOSE pills.

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Tropicana Restaurant: Thumbs down. Half decent food and half decent prices. Hot as hell and possibly the slowest and least cognizant staff in the area. I would recommend away from the mixed drinks since the can’t seem to get those right. A margarita was simply margarita mix (hot) and tequila with salted rim. A frozen pina colada was instead warm colada mix with..you guessed it…tequila! The Jack & Coke had the distinct taste of Jack Daniels that had been watered down in the bottle. No Pictures.

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NOTE: This trip report involves what was pretty much the focus of my trip. Girls and Diving. This was not a family-friendly outing. It was my first such vacation and I’m still a little awed by it.

Arrived in Manila on the 27th of April…blah blah…..had trouble getting a hotel…..called the fix-it-man…

Spin forward–> Ferry dropped us off at my front door on Sabang beach and then checked into the Mermaids Divers resort. Not a bad little place at all–excellent location with adjacent walkway upstairs for getting to the resteraunt next door, Cap’n Greggs. Right on the beach. Room is small with a queen bed, (foam mattress). Small window AC unit. No frige. Small TV and a wall locker. Bathroom is likewise sparse but what the hey—its a dive shop!

1st day:
did nothing. Ate at the Tropicana. Good seafood and noodle medley bowl. Humidity is kicking my ass.

Night: Stayed in. The humidity from the day kicked my ass pretty bad. Didn’t even get dinner.

2nd day:
Signed up for diving courses with this really cool cat at the dive shop named Rickey. Met 2 of the travel friends on the ‘far end’ (near Sunset Club) while I was shopping for some shirts. (People–please be sure to take shirts with you. Shorts, hats, equipment…they have. But the only shirts are missized tourist print shirts that say “Puerto Galera”. My XXXL was still a western ’small’)

Night: We hooked up again at night and went to the Sabang Disco for the first stop. About 40 girls working. I had one latch onto me within 30 seconds of sitting at the bar, so that was that—-barfine! My friends had gone out the night before and still had the girls from then. I guess the plan was to keep some handy companionship for the week or 2. Anyway…Sabang Disco is the single hottest, poorly lit place in the town. By poorly lit, I mean the girl didn’t even look the same once outside. I dunno, they liked it but it was a sweatshop for me.

Second stop was across the alley to the Village. A much nicer place but for some reason, the girls didn’t let us stay long enough to get seated. hmmm…never figured that one out.

3rd stop was to the Broadway Club right behind my dive-shop room. Broadway is pretty much the best place around. They have a 2-table pool hall in the front open-air deck with a bar staffed with some really cool and energetic girls. Fans all over the place. TV’s and occasionally a live chick band. Upstairs is the disco–the only regular club in the whole town…more on that later. We went to the back where they also had their own girlie bar. 80 girls on staff! Mike was the manager, a former divemaster, and runs a really clean place. This place has the best aircon around.

We started drinking and throwing money around so we became the VIP’s in no time flat. The manager himself started bringing us drinks. “Dad-dy” (as the girls called him, so shall we) has a flock of girls around him and managed to get them all into each other. “Chopper” left early so I’m not sure what happened with him. Never asked. At some point, my date got drunk and started crying about how she didn’t want her daughter growing up to do this work…to which I lit her a cigarrette and ordered her another tequila to shut her up.

Ended the night somehow…pretty drunk, I remember that. Oh yea…ole girl took me to the Red Apple restaurant since they’re open all night. Now she was pissing me off by talking to the waitstaff like servents. Ended up shagging up later in the room. Of course.

Day 3:
Daylight brought reality into focus and as I looked into the bed, I realized that I must’ve somehow been drunk before hitting that first bar. Told girl that I had to go diving (which was true enough, sorta) and didn’t really want her in the room so I gave her money to go shopping…2000P. She goes directly to mamasan and barfines herself for another night.

I’m new to this whole sort of thing so I went with the flow… don’t remember much of that night.

Day 4:
Lots of diving. 3 Sabang wrecks (small), drift dive, generic reef dive….ear problems really bad on one side. . Ate B’fast and lunch at Cap’n Greggs. Excellent food with huge portions and pretty easy on the price. Chopper tells us his girl didn’t want to leave that morning and got really upset when he asked her to leave. Yelling at him or something. She goes back to the house and starts badmouthing him to the other girls (I heard from my girl). After the 3rd dive, we break until the evening.

Night: Started at a restaurant called Tamarind or something. Nice atmosphere. Packed wet sandy floor. Menu was a little sparse but the food was excellent for what we ordered. Chopper ordered something and didn’t like it…he seemed to have bad luck with most of what he ordered anyway. I got some excellent steak with pepper sauce. Dad-dy had something with prawns…..bad move on his part.

For clubbing we started at, (of all places uncomfortable), Sabang Disco. Dad-dy starts negotiating for a bottle of tequila but the bar won’t sell it to us. They had been making a fortune off the ‘lady drinks’ we were buying. Then his prawns come back to haunt him and food posioning kicks in. He leaves with a quickness and the hotties he had with him just dissappear back into the crowd. Chopper leaves too after another hour. I went back to the room and tried peroxiding my ears while girl watched some ‘pop diva’ dvd she picked up. Just a sit-in night except my ears burned from the peroxide—it’s some seriously strong stuff…not diluted like in the states. Just an easy night.

Day 5 :
Pretty sure I was diving this day again. I send ole’ girl packing because I had found out she was telling the girls from other bars that we were married and had a daughter in manila—whoa! A little territorial. Told her I might catch up with her in a few days–she was cool with this. Don’t remember what all I did this day. Every where we went, I remember the girls recognizing us and stopping for a chat. Inviting us out again for the evening.

Night: Chopper is shacked up in his room with some Chest pains. Dad-dy comes by exactly 24 hrs after food poisoning. I decline to go out…not really feeling the mood.

Day 6:
Don’t remember what we did during the day. Probably not much.

Night: We went out but had a plan this time. Started at the Broadway pool hall and met another of our travel group. Liza had come over from another PI location to party with us. She was known from the year before in Boracai. We moved into the back girlie bar. Chopper and Dad-dy picked up some new company. A bunch of drinks later I was warming up to this one girl next to me when we abruptly left–my tab mysteriously paid already.

Went to the ‘other side’, (east leg or the street), and into the Sunset Club. This is a very small place with about 20 girls or less. Honestly, most look a little off their game. Mama-sans are really pushy here and some of the less enticing girls won’t leave you alone. Call me difficult if you want but I prefer a full head of teeth. For every one I was trying to shrug off, 3 more were telling the bartender that I was buying them drinks.

Here, I made a serious faux pas. I had been eyeballing this little fireball that was full of energy and flirtatious as hell. Perfect bod! Well, the girl next to me asked about barfining and I agreed. Then she tells all her friends and gets mama-san over…..only I realized that it was another girl that had slipped in somehow. I had to make a scene of trying to explain that, which as you can imagine, didn’t go over so well. Anyway..we took this one girl out finally and went to Sabang Disco.

Sabang Disco is where we made our HQ for partying. We paid off the waitstaff and security guards with cash and drinks when they told us no pictures. We had body shots going. We had girl on girl going. Shirts were on and shirts were off. We all got really hammered and the wait staff made a months pay in one night. Lil’ fireball rocks my world that night….over and over again. And again for wake-up.

Day 7:
ugggg…hangover. A little trim in the AM helps a bit. I tell ole’ girl to stay, that I’m only diving for an hour but she insists on going to the house. Diving: oh hell. Hurl into the regulator and don’t tell anybody. Diving the ’shark cave’ although theres no cave…just an overhang that sharks sometimes hang out under. Dragging ass. Goto the room and crash again.

Night: Dad-dy comes by. I agree to have dinner with him at Cap’n Greggs but not to go out. My ears were still hurting. He gets a steak plate and I get the Surf-N-Turf. Steak and a single huge 6 inch prawn. I made fun of him as I peeled the prawn and slowly ate it.

After dinner, I drink a lot of water knowing that I’ve got a 0730 dive in the morning. Around 0300, I still keep tossing and turning and get up to urinate. Since my shower is an all-in-one, I just turned on the shower to cool down and started to let loose there……thats when it hit me. That damn prawn. I fell down on all 4 and just happened to land with my face over the toilet when the heaving started. I was convulsing for 45 minutes with it coming out both ends……that damn dirty prawn!

Day 8:
Cancelled diving. Cancelled meals. Cancelled reality. Original ole’ girl texts me because she had heard I was sick (how?!?!) and she’s coming over at noon to pamper me. Barfines herself in advance. Since she’s a nurse in training, thats cool. Its better to have company while I’m miserable than being alone so I’m hip with the whole idea.

Day and night merge together.

Day 9:
Feeling a bit better, but not to steady…I still cancel off diving. In a clearer state I realize that the Philippines must have some seriously shade-tree standards for nursing since this girl was already taking classes and had no idea what loperamide or salicylic acid were nor what acetaminophen and paracetamol were…much less that they were the same thing. I thought she had been feeding me antibiotics but it had just been Tylenol and Immodium.

Dad-dy comes by saying he has the lil’ fireball on hold and that she was asking about me…nope, had to beg off. Too sick still……second night in a row wasted.

Day 10:
Whoa! much better! Ole girl leaves but wont take her stuff. The last of our group arrives…the party meister himself “C”! I don’t know what else to call him w/o using a real name, (not to be confused with my monkier “DC”).

Night: Well hell. Start at the Sabang Disco, I think. Always with that hot ass place. This time C turns it up a few notches by spreading the wealth and getting the stage girls involved. Lots of details…lots of video…but I’ve not the patience to list it all. Moved to the bakery club (never did catch the name of that place) and partied again like theres no tomorrow. Spread money and the corner was ours. Kickin’ night that ended up with hot tubs and more girls than we left with.

Day 11:
Honestly…I’m not really sure if this is day 11 or not. Or if the others are quite right. But it keeps the timeline intact so screw it. U’mm I’m sure there was a dive in here somewhere during the day. Perhaps 2. Oh yea, did a night dive on the wrecks.

Night: It got all kinds of sketchy and the memory only knows of the highlights. Went to every bar and club. Broadway Disco was off the hook. Sometime later in the evening there were 3 of us guys and 5 girls in a penthouse at the main Mermaids Resort up the hill. Nice place. Some one threw condoms at us. They got thrown back at some point. I recall seeing clothing thrown into the ceiling fan. Something about shaving that I seemed to have missed but C apparently has on video. I heard later there was shaving cream on the ceiling. I remember asking where my underwear was and they kept handing me this girls grey shirt. We’re all sure there were 5 girls but no-one can recall who the 5th girl was. I feel sorry for the cleaning crew that had to clean that room in the morning.

Day 12 thru 15:
ummm…we went diving a few more times…..not really sure how many. I remember having equipment failure at 15 meters down when the O-ring on my BCD inflator popped out and I started venting ass loads of air. Had to use someones spare while we shut me down and unhooked the BCD hoses. I finished the dive with only manual inflate capability and half my air. But I’m an air-hog anyway. Day and nights kinda melted together and we wound it down the last few nights. More partying. More hedonism. Diving was far from our minds the last day or two.

C, Dad-dy, and Chopper left a day before me and I heard there was some drama where one girl followed them to the boat early in the AM screaming about not getting paid. Calling mamma-san and security. Trying to get the boat stopped. It was a joke. She had about 5000P in her pocket so I’d say she was pretty well paid. Yes, she came from that sweatshop Sabang Disco. Later in the day, the divemasters were asking me about it, (although I wasn’t there), because it was becoming a big stink on the beach. Oh well. Nothing came of it in the end.

I had to roll out a day early on the 13th because of ferries being shutdown on the following election day. Then I was in the Cherry Blosom in Manila for a day and a half with NO BOOZE. Election stuff and all that. Had the fix-it man get me a nice girl who, unsurprisingly, already knew my friend C.

Well people….it was a helluva blast and I’m missing it already.

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Whoops, had some pix in there that shouldnt have been.

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well, I’m back.  I know I didnt post a lot while I was gone.  most of it is carnal in nature as well as the pics.  I’m sure I put a few dozen girls thru college.  And yes, I’m going back.

fuckin A!  made it to Sabang isand….damn near didn’t!

Day’s 1 thru 4:  travel out of Iraq.  Sucks as usual.

Day 4, afternoon:  arrive in Manila. Damn its humid.  Can’t find the phone number of the fix-it guy we know here so I grab a cabbie from the airport.  He spends 30 minutes taking me on a 10 minute drive to the hotel—and its all booked out.  Damnit!  Next stop–booked.  Next one—ARRGGgg! 

Finally find the guys cell number and have the cabbie call him, who is promptly told to give it a rest and drop me off somewhere.  Now I’m sitting in the lobby of some ritzy hotel and a stranger is coming to pick me up and settle me in for the night…..fuck it, I’m up for sleeping on the street corner at this point.  Except that it started raining.

Dude picked me up…cool as hell.  Finds me this $20 room, gets me a sim card, offers me about 300 women—or mebbe the same one 300 times, I’m not sure.  Drives me all around, good stuff.

 Is this the opening scene of a drug smugglers movie?….naw, just my room for the night. I cant believe I didn’t get pics of the fluorescent guitars and mirrors on the ceilings……quite the ass-gettin’ room.

Next to the bus in the morning…ever see a wiring diagram nightmare?

This is from my door.  Yes, this is really close to the water–as in—ON the water.  That’s a floating bar out there–mmmm….swimming to a bar……swimming back…..can’t wait.  Down to the right and out of focus is the bar/dive shop/hangout place.  24/7.

Now, I remember asking this guy I know if the water was cool here and he was pretty specific that even he, a resident, won’t drink from the tap.  So…I went to open a beer without a bottle opener, cut myself, and less than 24 hours later my finger is puffy and infected from what started as a scratch.

I know…doesn’t really look so bad but lemme tell you..there were asian lice crabs and gremlins crawling out of that battle scar!  Anyway..I had plans to go out partying (no girls that first night, my policy) and get stinkily drunk with dinner.  Ended up in and out of sleep on the bed with the AC cranked high.

Day 6:  Alarm went off at 0730–yippie!  Time to sign up for scuba open water certs!….meh….snooze…..  Got outta bed at 10:00 with jetlags ass firmly kicked.  Made it outta the room around noon.  Went walking around.  Got ripped off for P650 ($12) for cheap sunglasses.  Found a restaurant run by an Austrian and ate next to him.  Learned about a water shortage on the island.  Went shopping.  Had a gaggle of local girls introduce me to one of their kids as ” Say hi to daddy!”…whoops…have I been here before?

This is the kid that pees off the concrete there whenever he feels the need. I met up with some of my travel buddies–didn’t even know they were here yet!.  Missed out too, they took a private ride to Batangas and got a private boat to bring them over–I paid 1,300 pesos for the bus ride from hell and 10 pesos for a partially floating catamaran with 100 other people…….oh well, its 1530 now and I’ve spent too much time in this room.  Time to go drink!